Nobody likes a know-it-all, sweetie
by Woodlawn
Summary: Sheldon gets a taste of his own medicine from Penny of all people. [oneshot] Please Read & Review!


**Author's Note:** I don't own Big Bang Theory. If I owned BBT, then I won't be writing fanfics on it.

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><p><strong>"Nobody likes a know-it-all, sweetie."<strong>

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><p>"...each regional cuisine has foods derived from, or shares similar dishes with neighboring countries and regions: from Burma to the west and northwest, the Chinese province of Yunnan and Laos to the north and northeast, Vietnam and Cambodia to the east, and with Indonesiaand Malaysia to the south of Thailand." Sheldon Cooper ranted on in his high spirited monotone. "In addition to these four regional cuisines, there is also the Thai Royal Cuisine which can trace its history back to the cosmopolitan palace cuisine of the Ayutthaya kingdom, 1351–1767 CE or in laymans terms - <em>Penny<em> - Common Era." He paused politely for a second looking around taking in the dumbfounded (or in his case simply curious) faces of his gathered friends in the living room."Its refinement, cooking techniques, presentation, and use of ingredients were of great influence to the cuisine of the Central Thai influences from the 17th century CE..." He glanced again at Penny "...Common Era - onwards have also led to dishes such as foi thong and sangkhaya."

He finished with relish and happily looked around the living room, before going back to his food.

Leonard who had his eye brows raised ever since Sheldon dove into the topic, gave his his usual skeptic look of looking over his glasses with a slight smirk playing in the corner of his mouth.

Howard looked like either wanted to hit Sheldon or spit on his food (though the latter seemed more satisfying).

Penny was checking her new shoes.

Raj looked simply confused.

"So," Sheldon looked up at Raj. "Does that answer your question?"

"No." Raj said.

Sheldon gave an overemotional exasperated gasp, "What did you ask again?"

"Please pass the soy sauce?"

"Oh, I see." Sheldon smiled before saying - "I'm sorry, no."

Raj blinked, taken aback.

"Here you go Raj." Penny smiled as she tossed the sachet at Raj.

Raj caught in mid-air, he blinked again and suddenly looked very impressed at the catch, nodding and smiling as he opened it up.

Sheldon's head perked up again. "Did you know that Soy Sauce first originated in - "

"...in China," Penny cut in "sometime between the 3rd and 5th century from an older meat-based fermented sauce named jiang," Penny said dully "Yes, we do Sheldon."

Sheldon's rant came to an abrupt halt as he slowly turned to look at Penny, wearing an expression like he just witnessed Jesus propose to Catwoman.

He looked around from his spot at the other members of the group who were not so surprised at this little turn of event. Leonord was poking at his food, Howard was staring at Penny's breasts and Raj was checking the fat content of the Ketchup on the bottle label.

"You do?" Sheldon asked carefully.

"Ah, yes...I do know that like many salty condiments, soy sauce was probably originally a way to stretch salt, which was..." Penny wagged her finger as she explained slowly."...historically an expensive commodity."

"I knew that."

"I never doubted you, sweetie."

"Oh." Sheldon looked down, but suddenly his head shot up.

"Do you know an interesting thing about onions?"

"Yeah, Onions have particularly large cells that are readily observed under low magnification. Forming a single layer of cells, the bulb epidermis is easy to separate for educational, experimental and breeding purposes. Onions are therefore commonly employed in science education to teach the use of a microscope for observing cell structure."

Sheldon's eye twitched "Thank you, Penny. But, also..."

"Ancient Egyptian Pharos were burried with onions as a symbol of eternity, The ancient Greeks used onions to strengthen athletes before competing in the Olympic games, by eating copious amounts of onions and drinking onion juice, In the middle ages onions were not just used as food, but as medicine to relieve headaches, snake bites and to cure hair loss, and,"

Sheldon's twitches started to accelerate.

"Pilgrims took onions to America on the Mayflower only to discover that the Native Americans already used them extensively for food, clothing dyes and even as toys, and, Around 9.2 million acres of onions are harvested annually. Orthodox Hindus and Jainas do not use onions or garlic in their cooking because they believe the strength of the taste confuses the other flavours….anything else, Sweetie?"

Sheldon's face was now having a massive fit. "They make your eyes water..."

"But, there is a solution for - "

"I know there is a solution!"

Grumbling, he went back to his food. Prodding it with chopsticks with unwanted ferocity.

The others in the group looked on bemusedly.

Howard leaded towards Raj. "You might wanna remember this for the rest of your life. It'll make a good story for your grand-children"

"True," Raj grinned "Interesting facts about onions and Sheldon being trolled by Penny, this can't get more better!"

Lenoard was laughing silently, "It might, Raj."

"Watcha matter, moonpie?"Penny smiled victoriously at Sheldon "Cat got your tongue?"

Sheldon looked up slowly, "Only mee-maw is allowed to call me that!" He hissed angrily."And I don't like any kinds of cats near my tongue!"

"Aww..."

Sheldon suddenly sat straight. "Did you know that the latest string theory discoveries say that - "

"- In its most basic sense, the multiverse is a collection of universes popping in and out of existence, bustling around in a foamy mess, embedded in a vacuum of non-zero energy. Through quantum fluctuations, universes are born while others die — each universe taking on different forms and different kinds of physics."

"Did you know that the first superhero comic book was -"

"Lee Falk's The Phantom?"

"Ahumm...Did you know in a battle who would win? Batman or Superman?

"The fight has already taken place, at the end of "Batman: The Dark Knight Returns" Batman uses a cloud of green Kryptonite gas to rob Superman of his powers, and had no trouble beating him up. It's a paradox. Superman can win a fight... but Batman can plan a battle. There's a difference. Superman has called Batman the 'most dangerous man alive'. On the other hand you have the opinion that Superman is faster than a speeding bullet and therefore Batman is dead before he even knew Superman was after him. Which raises two questions: Why is Batman the only person Superman really fears? The person he describes as 'the most dangerous man on the planet' and Why did he feel a man with no super powers was the right person to safe guard Lex Luthor's Kryptonite ring?"

Sheldon realized his mouth was hanging open and quickly closed it shut. He stood up furiously, "Did you know that you are such a know-it-all?!" He shouted before storming away to his room.

Four pairs of eyes followed him before he turned out of sight and they heard the slam of a door being shut.

"Score one for the waitress!" Penny cheered.

Howard took a shuddering gasp. "Oh, boy. This kinda stuff makes me high."

Raj smiled dreamily, "Oh, I can already see the laughing faces of my grandchildren."

"Should've videotaped it," Lenoard shrugged "It'll help me cheer up when I'm down."

There were sounds of approaching footsteps and the group turned to face Sheldon who reappeared.

"And just to clarify, Penny..." He looked at her. "NOBODY LIKES A KNOW-IT-ALL!"

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><p>Sheldon woke up with a gasp.<p>

Without a second thought he jumped out of bed and raced towards Lenoard's room.

Halting before his roommates bedroom door, he knocked three times, "Lenoard!" three more, "_Lenoard_!" _knock, knock, knock_ "LENOARD!" He screamed.

The door opened, and instead of his grumpy roommate he faced a grumpy -. "Penny?"

"What is it now, Sheldon?" She groaned sleepily.

"He must have had a bad dream again." Lenoard's voice came through. "Should've slipped him some of those sleeping pills..." He muttered

Sheldon nodded. "Yes, It was a scary dream."

"Oh, sweetie, I know something that might help you - "

Sheldon suddenly gave a massive jerk. "No..." He whispered in horror. "It's happening again."

"Uh, Sheldon?"

"STAY AWAY FROM ME!"

Penny gazed at him open mouthed, but before she can say anything Sheldon raced off towards his room and slammed the door shut.

Penny looked at Lenoard. "What was that all about?"

"No idea. I stopped caring a long time ago. I don't even notice them anymore."

"You know, I think I know what his problem might be..."

_BANG!_

The duo jerked suddenly as they heard the bang on the other side of the bedroom wall.

"Shut up, Penny!" Sheldon's muffled voice came through. "NOBODY LIKES A KNOW-IT-ALL!"

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><p><strong><strong>THE END.<strong>**

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><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> The rants were taken from various sources. Too lazy to name them all...

Please Review!


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